shuffle shuffle...

I feel like this is the motto of my life right now, from the way that I walk.. shuffle shuffle... to nesting and moving things from one side of the room to the other... shuffle.. shuffle... to the date our dear baby is supposed to be arriving... SHUFFLE ..SHUFFLE... geesh, I am tired of it all! I am trying to balance my hormones with the realities that I am facing. The lack of control is throwing me for a loop, why did I think I was in control in the first place??? I am learning the hard way that you can "plan" as much as you want, but keep in mind that the rug can be pulled out from under you at any time =) I am now trying to face the thought that having a "planned" csection is somehow going to be anything but planned. (take a deep breath kelsey) I am beginning to realize that as they keep bumping my date up the reality of the situation is presenting itself, surgery, sleepless nights, crying newborn, potential depression.... (breathe again..) Keep focused on the positive... healthy baby, sweet soft breathing of a newborn asleep, first smiles, Gabby learning that baby is staying and she is now a big sister! the amazing smell of a newborn after a bath =) hmmm thats more like it!!! Unfortunately this is my personality.. definitely a realist. Always looking at BOTH sides of the picture not just the good side, but I am trying to focus and realize that you can acknowledge the backside of a picture but you have a choice in which way you will hang it and I would rather spend my days looking at the pretty side. So here I go, no plan for this baby, it can't stay in there forever I am told =) My day's will unfold however they choose to and I will just remind myself to breathe and move on!