last time

I can't wait to hold this little one xo

So I have been trying to remind myself as I near the end of this pregnancy, that there indeed will be a worthwhile prize at the finish. I'm sure all you mothers feel the same as you reach your last weeks, and you are wondering "why on earth do people do this again and again?". I am trying to focus on the great things to come and get through the rough patch that is right now =) I feel like I owe it to this second child, It seems unfair to be so excited for your first born and everything is done with anticipation and love, and this time around it's all done with a grunt and "I can't wait to have this over with." I owe our baby more than that. So even though I am ready, I am going to try to enjoy this last week or so of pregnancy, hey it might just be the last so I better remember it! Dave is away for the weekend and it's just us girls, so I am trying to enjoy it and have a last weekend of bonding with my first born daughter xoxox.

are they ever truly ours?

Well I don't mean to greet you with such a heavy heart, but I can't help but dwell on the thought that as much as we love our children and would do anything in our power to keep them from harm, they are not ours to keep. I know, like I said a little heavy for right now =) I ponder this thought though with relief and sadness, relief that I can trust my children in the hands of a mighty and amazing God. Sadness that no matter how hard I try, it's just not up to me. I have been blessed so far to have a perfectly healthy happy child, but there are many many others that don't have that fortune. I pray that I am never faced with that burden of living this truth out, but if faced with this task of trusting in our God, I hope that I am able to find peace. I think I am feeling the way many pregnant women feel as they reach the end, "Lord, please just let my baby be healthy." So I leave you with this, I feel like as a whole we feel a serious sense of entitlement in our lives, entitled to have what we want, when we want it, entitled to be healthy, happy, prosperous. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that we should not be blessed in our lives but I am trying to remind myself that it's when I put my trust in God that HE WILL BE THE ONE to bestow on me the blessings that HE FEELS I need in my life, that the richest of blessings is received. I pray that as we await this new life to join ours, that it may be the blessing that the Lord feels we can handle and deserve and I will find peace and rest in this.... now on a lighter note... "Ummm God... I'm kinda uncomfortable... So can we hurry this thing up =) " Goodnight all
signed *the peaceful pregnant lady =)

potty bliss

Oh boy.. you know where I am going with this one!!! Why is is that my daughter is amazing at going pee all by herself when she is pantless and as soon as you bring the dreaded panties and pants out its like all our progress comes trickling to the floor.... seriously... what is going on here, I have cleaned up more pee these last few days that I have in 3 months of "light training". I am banging my head up against the wall wondering, how the heck do you get them to hold it and tell you when they have their pants on? I am not ok with having the naked child all the time. I have never been too pushy or ever had expectations in my own mind about it, I think I am just annoyed at being stuck in the middle of potty training not sure how to get out, I feel like I would rather go back and just have less pee to clean up! Let me tell you the amount of pee laundry that I have been doing lately is enough to send me into labor, up and down the stairs only to go up and down a hundred more times with more pee laundry to wash! I was doing some research yesterday online and there is a lady selling some MIRACLE 3 days to potty training freedom rubbish and I got thinking, 3 days.... for real? what does she know that I do not? would I pay $49.99 to not clean up pee anymore? tempting. I know I am just going through the same thing that EVERY parent goes through, and the whole cliche saying "well you don't see college kids in diapers" rings in my ears I am trying to be patient. Although the thought that my daughter will be on the front page of the news in 20 years as "THE HONOR ROLL COLLEGE GRADUATE THAT DID IT ALL IN DIAPERS!" obviously I'm kidding, but I hate the feeling of failure and feeling like you are just missing the one key to unlocking the glory of dry pants!!! *deep sigh* I have a new philosophy in my parenting, a few little words of encouragement that I tell myself to keep moving forward..... here it is... If Mrs Duggar can do it 18 times, I can do it too =) .... as I am finishing this I hear down the hall "go see your mom" hmmm what could it POSSIBLY be =( Off to do more laundry