So I am vividly aware of the new, hopefully temporary, reality of my life. No sleep, chaos and time flying by before my eyes. I don't mean that there isn't laughs and smiles and lot's of love along the way too, but these things are not new and were always there to begin =)
I really feel like as mom's we feel like we need to have it all together, seem like we have the perfect family and it all under control. I however am far from this =) and I am not ashamed to say it. I humbly admit that raising children is not easy, not glamorous and not always fun. I am not one to pretend to be something that I am not, I am very honest and very open with my feelings. If I am stressed and overwhelmed you will see it all over my face. Sorry to my husband who is extremely aware of this, and loves me in spite of it.
I am lucky enough to have an amazing group of friends, some with kids and some without that hear me out without judgment and give their support and love no matter what the circumstances. I feel for those women who don't have that support and get up everyday, feeling the need to paint their mask of "togetherness" and portray something other than their genuine self. Now I am not saying that sometimes we don't have to restrain how we feel.. there are many times I feel like having a tantrum and roll on the floor screaming and crying right along side my 2 year old, but let's be honest someone would probably take my kids away if I did that =) So there are times when we pretend to be in control just to keep it together and salvage what little sanity we have left, I get this.
On the flip side, there are some mom's who ACTUALLY do have it all together... The minority of women that fall into this category can just disregard what I have to say, carry on with your day and be supermom. I sometimes wish that I can be this kind of mom, organized, not in sweatpants, happy to be taking care of children, wiping bums and runny noses all day. When I look in the mirror, the person looking back at me does not quite match this description.. I see a greasy ponytail, spit up on my shirt and dark bags under my eyes. My new personal goal is to get myself together enough to somewhat resemble the woman that my lovely husband vowed to love and be with forever, I feel like I owe him at least this =) Now back to my point... As much as I wish to be Supermom, My reality is that I can only be Gabby and Layla's mom, however that may look. I need to be ok with being the best mom for them and not for society. If I don't get out of my pajamas and my hair is in a greasy ponytail, as long as their needs are met and they know that we love them, then I think that my job as a mom is done. and done well! ... Now.. back to those motherly duties I love so much, I hear a baby stirring that needs to be fed!
As a last thought, I hope that all the mom's out there would be proud of whatever kind of mom that they are capable of being. We need to stop comparing each other and embrace who we are. I hope that we can support each other and love each other EVEN when we are in dirty sweatpants all day long =)
