a moment

I title this "a moment" because that is exactly what I need right now before I walk out and leave it all behind.  Am I the only one that has days where you want to rip your hair out?  Maybe I am not built to be a mother, sometimes I wonder.  I know that patience is not my best attribute, but the way the last week has been going for me I don't know how much patience I would need to cope in a sane person manner.   My children have colored on walls, peed their pants, hid food around the house, fallen out of their beds,  rubbed peanut butter all over the t.v, stepped in the popcorn bowl and walked around the house, and that is just a touch of the chaos.  I AM ALMOST READY TO QUIT.  However I will not.  I'm just not sure how to balance my sanity with the normalcy of crazy children.  You see I know I am not the first parent to have their child rub peanut butter on their TV.  But I wish I could be a fly on the wall to see how they reacted when it happened.  I seem to have moments when I can handle it with a breeze and then there are times like this afternoon.  I don't need to paint a picture for you, just take my word for it.  I don't think I am a bad parent, I just don't know how I am supposed to learn to deal with those times that you think might just destroy you.   *QUE ATTEMPTED DEEP BREATH*.... ok. I still don't really feel any better, but the good news is tomorrow is another day.  And I pray its a better one.

A new me

So I have decided that 2011 will be a time to figure out who Kelsey is again.  I feel as though I have been on this journey for a while, it seems as though when you become a mother you tend to get lost.  Lost in the laundry, cooking, wiping.. just in general =),  caring, nurturing, and the list never ends.  Now that I feel like the chapter of birthing children is over lol, I figure it is time to dedicate a little bit of attention to my needs as well! So I have made some steps towards that, signed myself up for a fitness bootcamp ( 8 weeks) and our competitive Volleyball team season starts at the end of January as well.  Then after bootcamp I signed up for a month of HOT yoga!! Which I LOVE by the way, I have only done it twice, but let me tell you, silence for an hour in a peaceful hot room is devine! I am accompanying this with some new recipes (We all know I like to cook/bake!) and hoping for a few changes to the pant size!! here is a sneak peek of what I have been cooking up!