wandering

Picture this...
You are walking in a deep valley, there is a faint shimmer of light sprinkling in over the sharp edges of rock that surround you, You climb over fallen rocks, trying to reach the place where the walls will crumble and the rolling green hills will be all you will see for miles. You can breathe the crisp air around you and feel the warmth of the faint rays of light cascading in, revealing only that with every step you take all you can see is more of the same dark damp walls of stone that close you in. However you do realize that at least you have the sun shining, It could be raining, dark, and you could be alone. Now in many ways you are alone, you haven't seen a soul for days and in the still quiet all you hear are your own thought of "will this ever end, I cannot walk like this forever." Then you hear like a whisper in the wind.... "I will hold you when you can't walk anymore, I will catch you if you stumble on the hurdles that surround you" At first you question "who's there?where are you? How do I get out of here!!?" A soft sweet voice you hear now, so close you feel as though someone is standing right behind you "follow me..."

"If your heart wears thin, I will hold you up, and I will hide you, when it get's too much, I'll be right beside you nobody will break you...."

For this I am thankful....

making the best of it

After 5 years of marriage I have begun to learn a valuable lesson. You see there is this old saying that I am sure you are familiar with "opposites attract." Now in our case this was not true to begin with, Dave and I had the same interests in music, sports, and many other things. Now as we all know people grow up, views change, interests change, kids happen and you can't always do or think the same way that you did when you were a teenager. Now to get to the lesson! We have been finding that as we have gotten older our priorities and personalities have changed, therefor affecting the way we make decisions and go about our everyday life. David and I make decisions very differently, neither way is better than the other they are just vastly different, to be honest I was beginning to think... Is this going to be a problem? However with a lot of thought and some encouragement from my dear husband I have realized that even though we have grown into somewhat different people than when we first met 8 years ago, we still compliment each other, it's just in a different way. Here is the lesson, Opposites do work, it's knowing how to make them work that is the tricky part. We have learned that instead of each being entitled to "our own opinion" and using only ones idea, we rather need to scramble our ideas together to make an EVEN BETTER IDEA, (as if our original wasn't awesome enough)=) Now this doesn't come easy, it takes much discussion and debate and serious PATIENCE usually on my part =)

I have been battling with this feeling of separation for a while, not feeling good enough for my husband, not smart enough, not interesting enough and definitely not exciting enough(anymore =) ) Worried that he would want to subconsciously fill this lame wife role with someone "more like him" someone that thought like him and was a dreamer like him. However I was brought back out of pityville with three little words.... "I need YOU" ...... OF COURSE YOU NEED ME!!! what the heck was I thinking!!!! it's amazing the power of the mind when you are feeling down about yourself and possibly about your circumstance, where your mind goes, and you are ever so willing to follow it. Jeepers I am ashamed to even have thought that Dave could have found someone better than ME!!!!! lol ok maybe I am a little conceded now, but let me explain. I believe with all my heart that God brought David and I together for a reason, we are meant to be. We cannot be naive and think that we will be the same people when we are 30, 50, 80 and let me tell you I plan on still being married to the same man that stole my heart so many years ago when I am 80, So we need to learn to adapt our marriages as we grow, to compliment our changing personalities. Find new interests that can be enjoyed together, and ultimately a new and deeper love for one another as you overcome hurdles together. *deep breath* now I feel better. I am not saying that my marriage is perfect, I just thought I would share a little tidbit of insight that we have learnt as of late =) I love my husband, my children and I am learning to love myself the way I am. I believe I am the way God intends me to be and I do not need to try to be who I THINK Dave needs me to be. He needs me to be me and nothing else. ok... I'm done ranting and raving now =) feel free to carry on with your day !! Thanks for stopping by