kids say the funniest things =)

So in all my effort to surprise Dave for his Bday(and let's be honest, it wasn't really a whole lot of effort) My lovely 2 year old spills the beans! OK so here's a little back story...
For those that know us, Dave and I have always treated our "holiday gift giving" a little differently. When you don't have a lot of $$$$ the thought of just spending $$ you don't have on gifts you don't really want or need seems a little silly to us, and we all know that being a young married couple with young kids there is always something that you want or need that costs more $$$ than you are willing to spend... enter our agreement... those BIG splurges that cost a years worth of little silly gifts you would have bought for each other now are attainable without credit cards and debt to follow! Now there is always an exception to the rule, If there is something one of us truly wants or needs then obviously it's not a big deal, we just budget accordingly. This brings us to the Gigantic playhouse we ever so spontaneously purchased a little while ago that took a lovely little chunk out of our gift $$$. So we agreed that the beautiful and costly new Nixon watch that Dave wanted for his gift for fathers day and his bday would be forgotten and the playhouse was a family collaboration that we were going to get for the girls.... que the surprise element... so for fathers day we settled that Dave would still get a new pair of shoes(not sure how I got weasled into that one!) and then somehow I was feeling guilty for not really doing anything for his bday, ok we went for supper... a maybe I used a 2for 1 coupon at supper =) so truly not a whole lot was spent on his bday. I got to thinking this is a great opportunity to surprise him with something that he did really want in the first place. So yesterday morning while dave was at work I quickly packed the girls up, picked up Carling and set off to the mall to buy him his new favorite toy. Gabby was very excited that it was "daddy's birthday" and that we were going to get him a "present" and then she helped me pick the "watch"(you may be wondering why I put these words in quotes, but for anyone that has little kids I think you know how they just LOOOVEEE new words =). Soooooo, Watch in tow we packed back up again and were on our way home only to find that Dave came home from work early and was home when we got there, so I quickly made up an excuse and acted like nothing was going on to keep the surprise intact. HOWEVER my lovely child thought it would be a great idea to share the news with Daddy =) She was so excited that he was home that she ran over to him giving him a hug and said "Daddy we got you a present!!!! " so proud of herself.. Daddy asks "oh is it this hug?" "NO daddy a watch" I just love the innocent excitement of this child... Daddy was a good sport and pretend he didn't hear anything, much like Mummy pretended the same. Dinner was good, that's where I gave Dave his surprise, not so surprise watch. He still was excited and obviously loved it. Now the lesson is learned, these kids are smarter than we think. Watch what you say because they are always watching and listening in, ready to repeat their new favorite words =) .... let's just say I'm glad she chose present and watch instead of something else that might have slipped from my mouth =)

sparkling clean bathroom

I just thought I would give you a little insight into a two year old's mind. The other day I caught Gabby in the bathroom playing with the toilet cleaning brush and of course I nearly jumped out of my skin, grabbed it from her and told her "Gabby we don't play with this it's very dirty and its only to clean the toilet ok." I should have know better =) This morning I walked in on Gabby being so helpful and "cleaning" the whole bathroom for me with the lovely toilet brush... perfect. Oh well, nothing a little scrubbing on my hands and knees won't take care of I guess.. of the curious mind of a two year old =) Happy cleaning day to me!

sex and the city

Last night I was able to have a night out with a great friend to go see the sex and the city 2 movie! It was good, but there was one particular part of the movie that really stood out in my mind. For you mom's if you have seen it you may know where I am going with this... ok a little back story.. one of the characters Charlotte who is sort of an uptight, by the book, very conservative lady has 2 children, one that is adopted and then a 2 year old baby of their own. Now, she is the kind of person that insists that everthing is "just fine" and she has it all under control, she has a full time nanny and 2 year old that screams ALL THE TIME. This is Charlotte. So in the movie Charlotte is constantly putting on her "perfect mom" face and is unable to really have an honest moment to say how she really feels..... and let's be honest... we all know how she feels =) there are two significant moments in the movie that I want to share, the first one is this... Charlotte is in the kitchen making cupcakes with her older daughter, trying to ice them with one hand, screaming child on the other hip, and on the phone with her friend. the older daughter is trying to get her attention and ends up putting her hands in red paint and touching Charlotte's white skirt.... enter meltdown.... she puts the 2 year old down in her highchair and locks herself in the pantry to cry, the kids are both crying and the oldest is trying to get into the pantry to get to her mom. Finally the nanny enters and saves the day... stressful moment to say the least! the second is this. The group is finally in the middle east, which is where the majority of the movie takes place, Charlotte and Miranda are staying in while the other two women have gone out for the night, and after a long day Charlotte and Miranda are having a drink and Miranda(the only other woman with a child) tells Charlotte to be honest and get her feelings out without any judgment... Charlotte finally has a breakthrough and says what she and probably most moms are feeling... well at least me =) She says that sometimes when she can't stand it anymore she leaves the 2 year old to cry in her room because she just won't stop, that she doesn't know how women do it without a nanny full time, and that she felt guilty for enjoying not having her kids around on this trip.
In this moment I was cheering on the inside, Now for those who know me I am not one of these pretend moms. If I am having a bad day, unfortunately you will know it, I am not graced with the perfect mom persona. I love my children dearly, however my children get on my nerves. I have a 2 and a half year old and a baby that doesn't sleep or stop crying for the most part. Now, I am not complaining, but I feel entitled to feel the way that I do. This whole being a mother thing is not easy, no one said it is and I am up for the challenge, but I will NOT pretend like I am having a perfect day when I have had 3 hours of sleep and have a non-stop day ahead of me dealing with all that goes on in my home and a screaming baby on top of that. I am not looking for sympathy, I am looking for support. I don't want to hear "oh it's fine, they are good girls" I want to hear, "I'm here for you, is there anything I can do to help you and lighten your load" I know there are many of you that are in my same position right now, thinking, there has to be an end to this! Dave and I were saying the other day that we can't wait till our girls are a little older and we can do things like go sit on the sidelines of their soccer games with our lawn chairs and coffee, and really enjoy watching them have fun rather than "dealing with them." It's not like this everyday.. there are glimmers of calm.. but for right now we are in survival mode!! Now I am blessed beyond and this I am aware of, there are a lot of worse situations than mine, I have healthy vibrant children... they just are a little cranky =) I just think that as mothers we need to be validated that raising children is not easy and not always enjoyable either... yes I said it... not enjoyable. If we all said how we truly feel we might be able to find comfort in one another lighten the burden of feeling like the worst mother ever for feeling the way we do. Feeling like your not cutting it because you can't handle it when they cry all day, or like you don't measure up because you can't get your 2 year old to stop having tantrums and running away from you, or you are a failure because you can't get them potty trained, the list goes on and on as to why I feel like a failure, BUT regardless of how much of a failure I feel like, deep down I have peace because I KNOW I am a good mother, I love my children I care for them and their needs, despite my frustration, I would do anything for them regardless of how much sleep I have had and how bad of a mood I am in. I will get through, and they will be happy well rounded girls one day.. I will get to the other side of this fog!! One day at a time! Let's be a listening ear to each other, without judgment and without a sense of "I can do it, why can't she get it together?" We all have different struggles and different ways of dealing with things. We need grace and love to get through this!!! Let's just say that if anyone needs a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear, I AM HERE!! I may be in the pantry crying when you call...but eventually I will come out and face reality again... Then I will call you back =) xox