Thursday, April 14, 2011
There's a hole in my tank
So here's the problem, there is a hole in my tank. You know the tank I'm talking about, the one that you know is full when you wake up in the morning and have a smile on your face, look at thing positively, have overflowing patience(OK... Those that know me know this is never a fact) but none the less, energy, delight in your children, just that over all feeling of great. OK so maybe that is unrealistic.. but lately I seem to be creeping along the line of the opposite. I wake up, take my earplugs out because I have been up 2-3 times at night and have to resort to earplugs after I can't take it anymore, drag myself out of bed, put on some ugly sweat pants and enter the world where I will hear crying every 5 minutes, mommy every 3 minutes and get possibly 20 minutes to myself in the whole day. Now I know that many of you are thinking, "Well welcome to it! this is the life of a mom." I understand that to be a mother it takes all that you are. Literally. You can lose your identity, lose your passion, lose the "fun" and get wrapped up in CHILDREN. Everything in my day revolves around other people, kids, clients, friends, husband. And after I clean up from dinner and a long day, I put the kids to bed and sit down feeling empty and slightly numb to what my life has become. I am not trying to spew negativity here, and I am definitely not looking for a pity party I just am looking for a little sparkle to my somewhat dreary life. I WISH MY TANK WAS FULL. I wish I could lay down at night feeling peace and not exhaustion, I wish I could wake up in the morning and be excited for an adventure with my kids, and not be counting the hours till Daddy gets home at 6:30. I wish I had a house cleaner so I didn't have one more thing on my plate to do. I could wish for many things but the fact is that I will never get there if I don't take a step forward off of the the line of desperation. Today my hope comes from this "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Mathew 11:28 *thankful for a soft place to fall, even if its only for a moment*
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I think you need to take more time for yourself...with me! Leave the kids with Dave for the evening and go out and have fun...not workout, because well that's work...mostly I'm saying this because after 6 weeks of being with a baby practically 24 hours a day for almost the entire 6 weeks, I need to go out! And so do you...! So let's get some girls together and eat and drink!
ReplyDeleteHey after reading I felt like I just had to comment. Trust me we all have our momments were our to do list seams never ending and repetative!! But try to make the things you have to do more exciting. When it's time for me to clean I blast my fav music and dance around while I clean. The kids LOVE it and then help too!! Try adding new ingredients to dinner to keep it fresh and new. And have a plan of what you are going to do during nap time. Something exciting so you can look forward to it and be able to REFILL your TANK lol. Like a bubble bath, do your nails. Something YOU love but not tv!!And try and remember that in many years from now, you will miss these times and wan't them back. Take care girl!! Positive thoughts and strength to you!! : ) Tami
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