case of the mondays.. or is it?

Never did I imagine that I would think to myself, I wish I was a selfish person. I wish I valued myself enough to put myself first, in any given situation. I find myself doing the complete opposite. I get an A+ for being a people pleaser, this it to my own detriment. I find myself run down, exhausted, and pretending like I am a fun person to be around, instead of actually taking care of myself and investing the time it takes to be at your best so you are genuinely fun to be around. I then think people will not want to hang out with me because all I talk about are my kids, and my busy busy life, I'm not exciting or interesting, just stressed and lame. So the question is, when is it ok to be "selfish"? How do you draw this line in your life and make it concrete so that you hold yourself to being first for once. My line is very fragile. I have not figured out what the root of that problem is, is it that I'm too generous? Don't value myself enough? Care too much about what others think to say no? It could be one of these, or all of them along with a handfull of many other things, But what is the answer? how to you begin to make yourself a priority in your own schedule? I have a calendar and there are names and times filling everyday till you can hardly read what they say anymore, and yet no where amongst the scribbling is the name Kelsey. Sad really. Not that I am trying to feel sorry for myself, its easy to write your name down. The problem is that if anyone else were to ask for that space how easily would you give it up?
I need some balance, without guilt. I need to not feel guilty for leaving my husband at home for an evening so I can go out for a coffee, or for saying no to a haircut because I want to spend time with my kids, or for switching Layla to formula because I cannot nurse her anymore even though I was told "oh that's the worst possible thing you could give her" by someone carelessly judging the kind of formula I am giving her. Was that supposed to uplift me in my heartbreaking decision to give up nursing? anyways.... Enough is enough. So If you ever feel like you need some "you" time and you are looking for a companion CALL ME and make me come lol =) Thanks for listening friends.. I feel better