sex and the city

Last night I was able to have a night out with a great friend to go see the sex and the city 2 movie! It was good, but there was one particular part of the movie that really stood out in my mind. For you mom's if you have seen it you may know where I am going with this... ok a little back story.. one of the characters Charlotte who is sort of an uptight, by the book, very conservative lady has 2 children, one that is adopted and then a 2 year old baby of their own. Now, she is the kind of person that insists that everthing is "just fine" and she has it all under control, she has a full time nanny and 2 year old that screams ALL THE TIME. This is Charlotte. So in the movie Charlotte is constantly putting on her "perfect mom" face and is unable to really have an honest moment to say how she really feels..... and let's be honest... we all know how she feels =) there are two significant moments in the movie that I want to share, the first one is this... Charlotte is in the kitchen making cupcakes with her older daughter, trying to ice them with one hand, screaming child on the other hip, and on the phone with her friend. the older daughter is trying to get her attention and ends up putting her hands in red paint and touching Charlotte's white skirt.... enter meltdown.... she puts the 2 year old down in her highchair and locks herself in the pantry to cry, the kids are both crying and the oldest is trying to get into the pantry to get to her mom. Finally the nanny enters and saves the day... stressful moment to say the least! the second is this. The group is finally in the middle east, which is where the majority of the movie takes place, Charlotte and Miranda are staying in while the other two women have gone out for the night, and after a long day Charlotte and Miranda are having a drink and Miranda(the only other woman with a child) tells Charlotte to be honest and get her feelings out without any judgment... Charlotte finally has a breakthrough and says what she and probably most moms are feeling... well at least me =) She says that sometimes when she can't stand it anymore she leaves the 2 year old to cry in her room because she just won't stop, that she doesn't know how women do it without a nanny full time, and that she felt guilty for enjoying not having her kids around on this trip.
In this moment I was cheering on the inside, Now for those who know me I am not one of these pretend moms. If I am having a bad day, unfortunately you will know it, I am not graced with the perfect mom persona. I love my children dearly, however my children get on my nerves. I have a 2 and a half year old and a baby that doesn't sleep or stop crying for the most part. Now, I am not complaining, but I feel entitled to feel the way that I do. This whole being a mother thing is not easy, no one said it is and I am up for the challenge, but I will NOT pretend like I am having a perfect day when I have had 3 hours of sleep and have a non-stop day ahead of me dealing with all that goes on in my home and a screaming baby on top of that. I am not looking for sympathy, I am looking for support. I don't want to hear "oh it's fine, they are good girls" I want to hear, "I'm here for you, is there anything I can do to help you and lighten your load" I know there are many of you that are in my same position right now, thinking, there has to be an end to this! Dave and I were saying the other day that we can't wait till our girls are a little older and we can do things like go sit on the sidelines of their soccer games with our lawn chairs and coffee, and really enjoy watching them have fun rather than "dealing with them." It's not like this everyday.. there are glimmers of calm.. but for right now we are in survival mode!! Now I am blessed beyond and this I am aware of, there are a lot of worse situations than mine, I have healthy vibrant children... they just are a little cranky =) I just think that as mothers we need to be validated that raising children is not easy and not always enjoyable either... yes I said it... not enjoyable. If we all said how we truly feel we might be able to find comfort in one another lighten the burden of feeling like the worst mother ever for feeling the way we do. Feeling like your not cutting it because you can't handle it when they cry all day, or like you don't measure up because you can't get your 2 year old to stop having tantrums and running away from you, or you are a failure because you can't get them potty trained, the list goes on and on as to why I feel like a failure, BUT regardless of how much of a failure I feel like, deep down I have peace because I KNOW I am a good mother, I love my children I care for them and their needs, despite my frustration, I would do anything for them regardless of how much sleep I have had and how bad of a mood I am in. I will get through, and they will be happy well rounded girls one day.. I will get to the other side of this fog!! One day at a time! Let's be a listening ear to each other, without judgment and without a sense of "I can do it, why can't she get it together?" We all have different struggles and different ways of dealing with things. We need grace and love to get through this!!! Let's just say that if anyone needs a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear, I AM HERE!! I may be in the pantry crying when you call...but eventually I will come out and face reality again... Then I will call you back =) xox